Pearle Maaney often shares glimpses of life with her daughters, Nila and Nitara — moments that capture both the chaos and joy of parenting. This Mother’s Day, the actress, host and vlogger speaks to us about raising expressive children, learning to slow down, and why motherhood has taught her to find happiness in the little things. Excerpts:‘My mother is still my reference point’“For all of us, our first reference point is our mother,” says Pearle, “I want to become at least one per cent of what my mother has been to us. The things she has done for us feel almost superhuman.” She says becoming a mother herself only deepened that admiration. “Even now, she is my reference point,” she shares.‘My kids inspire me to find joy in little things’Pearle says one of the biggest lessons her daughters have taught her is to slow down and appreciate everyday moments. “I spend a lot of time with them and I get to see two completely different individuals. No two children are the same,” she says and adds, “What they inspire me to do is be happy and find joy in little things.”She is also intentional about allowing her daughters to express themselves freely. “Sometimes, I find them screaming in the house. Me and Srini (Srinish Aravind) decided to never tell them to ‘shut up’ or ‘keep quiet’. We politely ask them to keep it a little low. We never tell them to or stop expressing emotions,” she says. “Kids are learning how to emote at this age. If we constantly ask them to suppress anger or sadness, they may grow up not sharing their feelings at all,” she explains.‘Time flies before you realize it’Reflecting on motherhood, Pearle says parenting has made her more conscious of living in the moment. “I do feel like time goes by fast. Nila has a habit of watching old vlogs where we traveled with her when she was young. Nitara sits and watches them with her. It feels so surreal. One day you are holding a six-month-old baby in your hand, and thinking, “Oh my God, how am I going to get through this?” and then suddenly, that six-month-old becomes a six-year-old! So, it’s important to live in the moment and treasure this time because it won’t come back,” she remarks.“The first few years may even feel ‘boring’ because all your child wants is your time, hugs and attention. It may not feel like the most productive way to spend our time, but I feel that when we slow down and give the kids the time they need, it becomes one of the most beautiful phases of life,” she says.
‘Children are like little CCTVs’Pearle believes parenting is as much about modeling behavior as it is about teaching. “There is a difference between guiding your children and pampering them. Sometimes when they fall down, pacify them and encourage them to get up rather than rushing there in panic. Have a conversation with them. Only when you overreact do kids learn to react the same way,” she says.“Children,” she says, “are like little CCTVs”. “They copy everything — even the tone in which we speak to people. You can’t be disrespectful and expect your child to behave differently,” she elaborates.‘My mom is fed up with too much bonding!’“My weekend plans are always about getting our family together or going to Chennai to be with extended family. I think my mom is fed up with too much bonding,” she laughs and adds, “Now, she only wants to see my kids more. There is a lot of love, but she is obsessed with the grandkids — my sisters’ two children and my two — and it gets very noisy.”On how she bonds with her children…Nila loves painting. She is very much into art. We sit together and draw. We display their artwork and that makes them more confident. She also loves building blocks and creating things. She likes playing dollhouse, too. The kids and I enjoy watching things together. They keep changing their interests like seasons.When I was young, my mum used to say, “Watch something that people understand.” She never understood what I was watching, while I used to be completely engrossed in it. I loved Popeye and Ninja Turtles — my mom especially hated the latter. I try to make them watch cartoons that I like with my girls, but the minute I’m not there, they end up watching what they want. So, we need to find a middle ground and appreciate what they like, tooSharing her plans for Mother’s Day, she says, “Growing up, it was never a big celebration, but we would always prepare small gifts like a sari or a card, along with a genuine hug. I feel every day is Mother’s Day. Just make your mother feel special.”
