Something feels off? Your partner is pulling away from you. Working late nights. Doing everything to avoid you. Or perhaps your friend’s story doesn’t add up. You are hell-bent on wanting to know the truth, but don’t know how to. You don’t want to swing with accusations that could blow everything up if you’re wrong. What if you can find out the truth in a simple way? According to Evy Poumpouras, a former US Secret Service agent you can find the truth in three simple steps. She has spent her career reading people for a living, and according to her, you need three letters. TED.
The ‘TE-D’ method
While appearing on Lewis Howes’ podcast, Poumpouras revealed that one can find the truth in three simple steps. She swore by the rule. If you want to know if someone is lying, don’t trap them; let them talk. You will be able to learn more when they tell you their story. Don’t blame. Don’t attack, just follow the ‘TE-D’ method. What’s that? Tell me, explain, and describe!
Step 1: Tell me
If you want to know the truth, do not go into the interrogation mode. You don’t want to ask a question that leads to a ‘Yes’ or ‘No’. Instead, let them tell you. When someone feels safe, they talk. And when they talk, they reveal. You can begin with, “Tell me what you did last night”. This is rather a comforting question than “What did you do last night?”
Step 2: Explain
This step will help you dig deeper. Once they have told you what, wait for the explanation. Don’t ask ‘why’, instead tell them, “Explain to me how important this is to you.” This simply forces them to justify, to reason out loud, to reveal their internal logic. Here’s where you will find out the truth. A person who deeply cares will have no trouble explaining. It will be easy, because the feelings are real. On the other hand, someone who is performing will stumble. They may repeat themselves and will be vague when you go into the specifics.
Step 3: Describe
This is where you catch a liar. When you ask to describe, liars will sweat. Because detail is the enemy of a fabricated story. When you ask them to describe the situation, or how the work meeting went, they stumble. The sequences and specifics threaten them. Truth has all of that naturally, because it actually happened. A lie was only ever built as a skeleton. Ask for the flesh, and it falls apart!“So if you really want to read someone up, read somebody, you want them to tell you a story. So the more I can get you to tell me a story, I hear you, I’m watching you, I’m getting your mannerisms down, everything, but then you’re also telling me what is important to you, what is of value to you,” she explained. You don’t need a lie detector to find the truth. Just follow the TED method. Then sit back, keep your mouth shut, and pay attention. Truth will knock on your door.
